One Year of Breastfeeding: A Celebration

Before I had a baby, I looked at other babies with the same affection I looked at my morning alarm. I knew I had it in me to be a good mom. Maternal was another matter. I wasn’t certain I would be overwhelmed by motherly warmth. I was happy to find that being maternal came easily for me after Yosemite’s birth, due in part to breastfeeding. This post is in celebration of my first year of breastfeeding my baby, Yosemite.

Before I had my own child, I didn’t realize the love for my child would be not only mental but also physical in nature; their smell, their cuddle, their laugh. Nowhere is that love more physically manifested for me than when I produce food for my baby. It isn’t a selfless love, which also surprised me, but a selfish one. I feel as if my baby is an extension of my own body, but with each day they grow more into their own physical being and apart from mine. That is when my selfish love can one day grow to turn selfless: when they are truly their own person. We aren’t there yet: I still feel as if Yosemite is an extension of me.

My breastfeeding relationship is very special. My baby nuzzles in for sustenance and I get a cuddle. Sometimes Yosemite looks up at me with a smile and we sit in silence in the middle of the night. Others Yosemite is busy learning and interacting with the world but takes a break to focus on drinking. It’s an enforced meditative period for Mom and baby, and it’s been a joy.

Breastfeeding for a year in the modern world hasn’t been without challenges, and I’m fortunate that physically both me and my baby had no issues. It’s fantastic there’s the option of formula, which sustains millions of healthy babies. I’m sure Yosemite would be fine drinking 100% formula, and snuggles from dad or caregivers can be just as special as those from me. But in addition to the bonding opportunities that breastfeeding afforded, there was also something symbolic about breastfeeding in a world that conspires to make it difficult. It is a statement that I could raise my baby, work full time, and do all those things that people think you have to be a stay-at-home parent to do. I’m glad I was able to feed my baby breast milk for a year (and counting) for all these reasons and more, and this post is to celebrate our accomplishment.

Breastfeeding without being within reach of your baby at all times involves breast pumping. That, too, is a symbolic act for me. To me, it feels like penance for missing time with my child in favor of my other interests and commitments. If breast pumping at work is complex, the logistics of breast pumping while traveling are particularly difficult. It substituted the obligation of constant care for the obligation of constant pumping, a nice distraction from the pangs of distance forced upon me by the reality of career and personal travel. No mother needs or deserves an obligatory penance for missing time with their child, but for me pumping breast milk was an amulet that kept any feelings of guilt at bay. For one thing, it kept me too busy to feel guilty!

Sometimes breastfeeding is touted as an inexpensive alternative to formula, as though the enormous time commitment of a nursing mother is worth nothing. For me breastfeeding was not cheap. As a highly qualified professional, my parenting is contrained more by time than by money, and so I was willing and able to invest in the latest and greatest in gadgetry and services to make my life easier. In this blog, I’ll share all the techincal detail, though not without the realization that those constrained for both money and time may want to explore alternative approaches. At work or consulting I make an exceptional hourly salary. If I were paid for all the hours I put into breastfeeding, it would be equivalent to another part time job, on the order of twenty hours per week plus overtime. While I invested in services and gadgets that reduced the time spent on pumping, during the first twelve months rarely took any steps to reduce the time spent on breastfeeding. For me breastfeeding was a joy to be savored, while breast pumping was an obligation to be optimized.

Outline of this post

The rest of this blog will be a freeform journal, sharing my approach, joys, and challenges. At the end I also share some gear and tips for breastfeeding during the first year.

If you are constrained for time, just skim through to the captioned pictures.

If you are looking for tips, skip to the end of each month and the end of the post.

If you are looking for a #LongRead, then you have certainly come to the right place.

Note: During the tenth month of breastfeeding I acquired a new type of breast pump: the Elvie pump. I’m in no way compensated by Elvie pump, but because the pump really was a revelation to me and a revolution to my freedom and dignity, I will constantly be raving about it. If you or a loved one can afford it, and you need to pump, this pump is my number one recommendation!

Twelve Months of Breastfeeding

August was world breastfeeding month, and it is fitting that in August I celebrated my one year of breastfeeding.

The first days: In the hospital

Using the “My Breast Friend” breastfeeding pillow. Wearing a nursing friendly tank top with clips.

Yosemite was born in a hospital and my first words to the baby were: “Hi baby I love you!” Yosemite took straight to the breast. I was exhausted. There was a note on the whiteboard in our room “target feeding 8–12 times first 24 hours.” I could have done the math, but I didn’t, and I slept instead of targeting that feeding. I had done a lot of reading about birth, but very little about breastfeeding. We didn’t meet the target and Yosemite wanted to lick my nipple like a popsicle. In technical terms, Yosemite wasn’t latching well enough to feed properly.

As baby wasn’t feeding well, the nurses tried their best to give me tips. They got me a pump and I pumped. There was a nurse who was helpful, and I called in lactation consultants, which typically came within hours. Finally, the second or third consultant cleared Yosemite’s stomach of frothy amniotic fluid, which inspired some hunger. When Yosemite cried for the first time out of hunger it was a day after I had given birth. Casey (my husband) and I thought it was anything but hunger and first tried all the other options: diaper, swaddle, cuddle, you name it. Yosemite hadn’t been hungry yet, after all. We figured it out, finally, and when Yosemite still wasn’t eating from the breast, on the advice of a nurse we gave Yosemite some formula. My colostrum didn’t seem to be enough. The hospital sent us home with a couple of bottles of formula.

We weren’t off to the races on our breastfeeding journey yet.

Thing I would change about the hospital:

I wish I would have offered the baby the breast at least every 2 hours during the day and 3 at night, as the whiteboard and the math indicated. I’m sure we didn’t need the formula in the hospital, and my colostrum would have been just fine, and if I had offered Yosemite enough chances to drink the baby would have figured out the ropes a bit earlier. The amniotic fluid filling the stomach possibility I was unaware of, and clearing it really helped inspire Yosemite’s hunger. It would have been nice to “burp” that out sooner.

The first week: Home

Practicing the “Football hold” with Yosemite, coached by my postpartum doula.

We used formula once after I got home from the hospital, but that was the last time Yosemite had formula. I found my stride breastfeeding.

I was so thankful to have hired what is called a “postpartum doula,” Laurel Jensen. That’s someone to help you learn how to be a parent, or assist with parenting, without taking it over. She stayed with us every night for the first week, 8–10 hours per night. She’d arrive at 8pm and stay until 6am, typically.

Babies lose a bit of weight after birth and a big metric is when they get back to birth weight. My doula Laurel put me straight on a schedule: until the baby was back at birth weight we were going to offer Yosemite the breast at least every 2 hours (starting from the start of the last feed) during the day, and at least every 3 hours at night, or more frequently on demand as needed. We used the app “Baby Connect” to track the feeds which was especially helpful as being a bit sleep deprived it’s impossible to remember when — or on which breast — you fed last. We also used a breastfeeding pillow: My Breast Friend, that I found very helpful.

Laurel helped with everything, not only setting the schedule, but in coordinating the rhythm. The first few nights we focused on getting our latch, which is the baby’s method of feeding, right. We sometimes tried up to 15 minutes before getting it right. Then a feed. Laurel advised me on all things breastfeeding. After a feed we’d burp the baby, change its diaper as needed, and try the other breast. Particularly if the baby fell asleep after one breast, changing its diaper would help to wake it for the other.

After the second breast that we’d try to put the baby back to sleep. It was night, after all. Laurel would wake me as soon as the baby began to display hunger cues or the time had come, whichever came first. Usually we got to Yosemite far before the baby cried. At a certain point we tried a nipple shield to help the baby latch, but it turned out not to be needed.

After a few days, my milk started to turn creamy. It had always been “in” since birth, but that was the high-nutrient low-volume sticky colostrum, and now it was turning into the familiar looking white substance.

After the first few nights of this, I had Laurel help me a bit more in the evening. I’d do just the feeding components and she’d help put Yosemite to sleep. This allowed me to get more sleep. She also brought me homemade “lactation snacks”: high calorie nutrient dense items that were delicious. I’ll include the recipe here:

Recipe for lactation bars from Laurel. SO TASTY.

Soon we had a follow-up appointment and Yosemite was back to birth weight, meaning our cutoff times between breastfeeding could increase: 4 hours at night and 3 during the day for breastfeeding, more frequently as demanded.

At the end of the week I was sad to see Laurel go, but also excited to have some family time. Casey took over Laurel’s duties and we appreciate her so much helping us. Yosemite and I were finally off to a flying start breastfeeding. Laurel’s help also helped us split the duties. I was there for the feeding, Casey was there for everything else. We also had Yosemite’s grandparents visiting from out of town on a rolling schedule over the next 10 weeks. Casey took 8 weeks off of work, and I took 10 weeks off.

Things I would change

As soon as Yosemite and I were off to a good feeding start, being on the strict schedule wasn’t strictly necessary. The baby also didn’t necessarily need changed every time it woke up to feed at night, and I relaxed that later.

Month One/Two: September/October: Stay at Home

Getting examined for mastitis. When your baby sleeps through the night, don’t forget that your breasts might need a little draining!

We had many visitors this month: my mom (Jane) came first, then my father in law (Bruce).

Yosemite slept through the night the first time in here, about 8 hours! I didn’t pump and ended up getting a bacterial infection from an over production of milk, called mastitis. I got sick, as if I had the flu and had to rush to the doctor to get antibiotics, but by the time I was seen the following morning, symptoms had cleared enough that I felt comfortable filing the antibiotic prescription but not actually taking any of it.

At around 4 weeks I began to practice pumping breast milk and giving the baby the bottle. I would never be in the house for the bottle giving process, so Casey did that. I used the pump I got from my insurance, and would find a discreet place to put on a silly looking “bondage” bra for hands-free pumping. Then I’d go out for a walk. This was the part where you gradually realize you aren’t tethered to the baby, and getting out is good for all.

Things I would change

As SOON as your breast is too full, PUMP. I should not have neglected this. I would also buy a fancy wireless portable pump (Elvie pump, you will hear me say I should have bought this sooner every month) very early in the process.

I bought a few breast milk catching devices if the milk came out the other side while I was feeding, to reduce spillage and occasionally to save milk for later. I could have just as well and quickly used a wireless pump on the other side.

Month Three: November: Back to work part time

My caddy for the lactation room at work. As the year progressed, I could do with less and less, but the first days I had everything and the kitchen sink: extra parts, water, snacks, wipes to clean up, labels, sanitizing wipes, nursing pads.

I went to a local shop that specialized in breastfeeding and maternity clothes: Bellies, Babies, and Bosoms. I was planning to return to work and none of my supportive bras fit. I had the best bra fitting experience of my life and quickly walked out with three pricy nursing bras that are my primary bras to this day. It turned out that since pre-pregnancy my breast size had gone up into a cup size I didn’t even know existed. That was why I couldn’t find a bra that fit at the local store!

In November I returned to work part-time and our baby started daycare those days in which I worked. We were lucky to get into our first choice daycare, which was down the street from both our work and had a focus on outdoor play, even for babies, with a lean toward a child caring philosophy called “respecting infants”, where you allow babies free movement, and treat them as if they were fine minds trapped in feeble bodies, because that’s what they are or will become.

I was thankful to have a huge freezer stash at this point, about four full days of milk, when the baby eats only 30 oz in a 24 hour period or less. Also Yosemite had plenty of chances to drink from a bottle and seemed to be doing well. I decided to go back to work every other day. Although Casey and I planned to take equal amounts of leave in the baby’s first year, my husband wasn’t entitled to his until March, so I was on the hook.

This was useful for my breastfeeding relationship with my baby: I pumped at work twice during the day: 9:30am and 3:30pm and visited the baby at lunch to breastfeed and play together. If pumping affected my supply, it was all reset the next day where I stayed home from work and breastfed on demand all day. Walking to the daycare at lunch took about 15 minutes, and I’d listen to some training material that was work related and eat along the way.

At work they have lactation rooms, easily booked from my outlook calendar. Since I work as a programmer it was easy for me to “duck out” at fixed times. I could bring my laptop with me and still work. In addition, since many of my colleagues “flex-work” (work remotely) at least one day a week, most of my meetings had a dial-in number, so for those meetings which overlapped with my pumping sessions I simply dialed in for the meetings.

Overall, a pumping session would take me 30 minutes: 5 minutes of transfer across the street and setup, 15–20 minutes of pumping, and 5 minutes of cleanup and transfer across the street. The whole pumping processed caused a loss of work of maybe 10 minutes, or 15 on a bad day. At first I kept my milk in the fridge and then later decided to keep in cooler with me, and swap out the milk into the daycare’s fridge.

I had a 9 day trip out of town planned in January so my big focus over the next few months was to build up the freezer stash to supply the baby with breastmilk while I was away.

I was militant about pumping always before going out, even for a short time, like for Kung Fu which was for 1 hour. My family visited for Thanksgiving, this time not only my mother but also my brother and sister.

Nursing my baby on my part time maternity leave.

What I would change:

In addition to buying a wireless pump sooner, I would also not stress so much if I occasionally did not pump before I went out for an hour. I would pump after, as needed. I had a huge war chest of frozen milk by this point, but I was still paranoid as I had a trip coming up: 9 days away, in January. I didn’t know about Milk Stork at the time and how well it would work in terms of mailing back fresh milk on a trip. So in reality I could have made the trip with just a few days of stash, given the ability to overnight my pumped milk back.

Month Four: December: Road trip!

I used the Kiinde system to direct pump milk into. Whether on the office pump or the home pump there was an adaptor available to pump directly into the bags. These bags would then be attached to a holder and nipple. I typically put 3–4oz per bag, athough I would often pump more. My husband would split the bags into two as needed.

I used the Kiinde system to direct pump milk into. Whether on the office pump or the home pump there was an adaptor available to pump directly into the bags. These bags would then be attached to a holder and nipple. I typically put 3–4oz per bag, although I would often pump more. My husband would split the bags into two as needed. We used the slow flow nipples and always warmed the bottles. to best mimic breastfeeding.

Kiinde direct pump, store ,and feed system.

I needed to buy a new freezer to host all my milk! I reorganized my individual frozen bags into groups of 30 oz for ease of feeding while I was away; each larger group could be unfrozen and represented approximately a day’s worth.

I fit back in my pre-pregnancy pants for the first time. I enjoyed how purposeful eating felt; I feed a child, so I know that as I eat healthy and ensure I eat enough, that all that will help my child. Clearly the baby was growing healthily, and without having to worry about dieting I was also coming back to my pre-pregnancy shape.

We went on a Christmas road trip to Death Valley, during which Yosemite had a cold and it was rather chilly. Yosemite did not want to nurse as much, and I built up a lot of supply, and would blast the baby with milk whenever they tried to nurse. I thought about pumping but decided not to, as I didn’t want to pump and dump milk and I had no way of transporting the milk. During this trip, Yosemite seemed to only want to nurse when I was standing, and would scream otherwise, so I did a lot of nursing while standing.

Casey strolls the baby in the desert.

Things I would change

I would bring a cooler on a road trip for pumped milk, or feel fine to pump and dump. I would as soon as there’s an over production to the point of making the baby reject the breast.

Month Five: January: First trip away

I had to go from one end of this stadium to the other to find the pumping room. The seats in the stadium were too small and nestled with the next row to pump with the pump I owned at the time. Elvie pump would have worked!

My mom visited again over New Year’s to see the baby and the Ohio State Rosebowl game. I went with my mom to the game without the baby. I had to sneak away to the other end of the stadium twice to pump. I had no idea where to go but ended up going to the medical station and they said “right this way” and had a makeshift lactation room in a supply closet. There were many mothers there and we agreed not to be shy and all pump in the same room. It was a lot of hiking and I missed a lot of the game.

After my trip my main freezer was cleared out! I still had an entire chest freezer full of a few weeks worth of milk.

I decided to rent a hospital grade pump for my first trip away from the baby, the same pump they have in the lactation rooms at work. I rented this pump from the same local shop: Bellies, Babies, and Bosoms, that I had purchased my nursing bras from. My goal here was to maintain my supply while away, and also to reduce the time I needed to setup a pumping session since I would be doing so many every day.

Yosemite was typically so happy to see me at lunch during this time, and I found our lunchtime visits extremely restoring. It took me a bit to walk to the daycare, 10 minutes or so, and driving wasn’t an option as just the parking process would take much longer. I would typically listen to training podcasts for professional development during my walks, but I began to think about buying an electric scooter to help me coordinate my visits when the timing due to my other work commitments was tight. This month, I ended up buying a scooter, the Gotrax GXL, which allowed me to make the trip to the daycare at lunch in about 5 minutes.

I made the last minute preparations for my trip and I had a Postpartum doula (Erika Richardson), who also does some work as a nanny, come and stay with Yoz for a few days as I did some writing in preparation for my trip during the day. She had been our backup postpartum doula. We ended up regularly relying on her services.

That first trip came and I said goodbye in the parking lot of the daycare. It was hard to say goodbye, but once I was on my way it got easier. I maintained a strict pumping schedule: 8 times per day, but scheduled things so I could sleep during the night. In transit I relied on Mamava pods, neat pods that exist in almost every terminal of major airports which also often have lactation rooms. I also ended up having to pump once on a plane in my seat, with a nursing cover, and again on a plane in the bathroom when I was jammed in between two rather large middle aged men. I typically tried to video call my husband and baby during my pumping sessions, which made them more enjoyable and seemed to increase milk output as well. Casey also sent me plenty of baby photos which brightened my day.

Every two days, I used Milk Stork to overnight my breastmilk from Maine back to Los Angeles. This ran about $175 every two days, but the logistics were impeccable, the coolers were shipped to my hotel in Maine and were there when I arrived. Then, every other night I’d schedule a FedEx overnight pickup for the next day, and in the morning after packing them with milk in the provided 6 oz bags, I would push a button on the top of the cooler to activate, and leave the box at the front desk of the hotel. I’d also pack the box with a little note or trinket to my husband who would do the unpacking 3000 miles away.

Baby started rolling while I was away, and I was sad to miss this milestone. It was hard to fit all my pumping sessions in between scheduled activities. Essentially I needed a break every 2–3 hours for at least 30 minutes, and some activities were scheduled for 3–4 hours. I simply negotiated to step out.

I still had some milk leftover after my last Milk Stork shipment, so I searched the small Maine town for a cooler, and finally found a lunch box to pack with milk which I checked in my luggage. The whole trip back, I worried about whether my baby would nurse from me or prefer bottles, after drinking from bottles for nine days.

Baby nursed well when I got back and both of us were delighted to be reunited. Now that Yosemite knew how to roll, that was their preferred mode of transportation.

Visiting Yosemite to nurse at lunch. Our daycare has an outdoor focus from infant on, so we often got to nurse in the outdoor area.

Things I would change:

A wireless pump earlier in the process would have been amazing, particularly for pumping on the go, in airports, and negotiating short breaks for pumping. Even so, I might have needed a hospital grade pump to guarantee supply, and the rented one I used was so nice I wish I would have rented the hospital grade pump from day one (the Elvie pump runs $500 for both sides; the hospital grade pump is $3000+ new or $75/month to rent.

Month Six: February: Starting solids!

Two couples we are friends with had babies around the same time. Each has their own breastfeeding relationship and challenges. One pumps rarely and her baby does not enjoy the bottle. The other pumps regularly and her baby does not enjoy nursing in public. You see in this account of mine that I ran into similar challenges and I am thankful mine have so far been short lived.

We started to child proof. Casey took a trip to Japan and I had my aunt visit. Although Casey was fine with the baby just the two of them for 9 days (he reports it was “actually rather relaxing”), the thought of being on my own with the baby was overwhelming.

Nursing Yosemite in the middle of the night during my husband’s trip to Japan.

On my maternity leave days, Thursdays, I would often take the metro to to baby yoga. It seemed all of the mothers breastfeed there. There were at times lots of nursing through the middle of the night; one night my app showed: 9:30pm, 12:30am, 3:30am, 4:20am, 6:22am, 8am. We tried to entice baby to crawl. We began solids with rice cereal and Yoz was more interested in the spoon than anything else. Still, this was the first time Yosemite had had a food that I didn’t make since shortly after their birth.

As Yosemite started solids we found a new use for my extra breast milk. We’d mix it into almost every puree or cereal. I found making food for Yosemite therapeutic and a help in my transitioning to the world in which I wasn’t Yosemite’s only food source.

I celebrated my sixth-month breastfeeding anniversary and checked that off as halfway to my goal of one year. At a minimum if it happened I had quit then I had at least made it to a good point. I took a moment to calculate how much time I had spent nursing: 452 hours and 50 minutes for a total of 1765 times and 11.3 gallons pumped for a total of 233 times and a duration of 59 hours 54 minutes. You can see my sixth-month anniversary breastfeeding thread here: https://twitter.com/corbett/status/1100421391910752257

I use the Baby Connect app for the first 8 months to track nursing. After that, I didn’t track any longer.

Things I would change:

I don’t think I’d change a thing about this month! I certainly could have handled the baby on my own, but it was nice to have my aunt visit.

Month Seven: March: Back to work full time

Yosemite tried sweet potato, I was a bit sad about starting solids but also excited. It was therapeutic for me to cook for the baby. I used the last few days of maternity leave. I started watching the Netflix series Workin’ Moms and celebrated my 35th birthday with friends coming over. Yosemite was doing a lot of rolling, even leading a “baby yoga” session.

Workin’ Moms on Netflix. This show has its flaws, but the relatable moments are golden. Here’s the main character Kate, a high powered advertising executive, having to pump in the bathroom while on a conference call. In Canada, where the show is filmed, mothers get 9 months of maternity leave so the show starts when the babies are 9 months and the Workin’ Moms are back at work. They face challenges, but US moms often return much, much, much sooner and face even more challenges.

I started back fulltime on the 12th of this month, and Casey started his paternity leave, working part time and staying home with the baby Tuesdays and Thursdays. I had a delightful morning at work, it was set to be my first full day without seeing the baby at work. I video called my husband while I was pumping as I often did when separated from the baby while my husband was the primary caregiver. Yoz was screaming and I decided to come home. Yoz wasn’t taking the bottle! This could have been a scene from that Workin’ Moms show.

I came home from work to nurse Yosemite who spontaneously decided to refuse the bottle as soon as I went back full-time and dad went on paternity leave.

What was happening here? Yosemite had always taken to the bottle, but had sensed something was changing when I went back to work fulltime and was organizing their own protest.

I had a trip that weekend to an Amazon conference and kind of freaked out that Yoz wouldn’t eat. I called the lactation consultant — again that local store, Bellies Babies and Bosoms — and started freaking out over the phone. She said to focus on solids, which I didn’t find helpful as Yoz was just having a few tablespoons here and there, and that Yoz would definitely drink. I decided to go to the conference but made Casey promise to call me back as needed.

My first day back at work full-time

My first day back at work full-time happened to have a women at NASA photoshoot! See if you can find me.

At the Amazon conference I militantly pumped at least 8 times a day. I was always paranoid every trip that Yosemite wouldn’t nurse when I returned, and this was no exception. I did concede to sleep through the night. I video chatted baby while I was away, which was always really fun. Pumping was a good excuse to video chat the baby, and to my relief Casey reported the baby was drinking well. I was always glad I had so much of a frozen milk stash. I had some good relaxing. I wrote a thread on twitter about pumping for business travel: https://mobile.twitter.com/corbett/status/1107733068700225536

I decided to go away on my weekend trip, and here I am pumping in my hotel room. The compound wasn’t too large, but I found myself lacking time to pump and having to skip sessions. The Elvie pump would have helped a lot here as I could have pumped during the sessions very discreetly and easily.

We started a nighttime routine with the baby: solid food, bath, change into pajamas, breast milk, and then sleep.

Blended steamed beets and breastmilk.

Things I would change:

I think double pumping 4x a day during my trip away probably would have been just fine. That coupled with a wireless discreet pump could have made my trips much more enjoyable. Somewhere in here I got a deep chest freezer for my milk as my stash was filling up most of our freezer. I would have bought this earlier, as it also preserves the milk better. Also: just because your baby takes the bottle in one situation, doesn’t mean they always will.

When I started back at work full-time, my baby noticed something was different and refused to drink from dad for a little bit, even though the baby had previously done so well. There’s never a moment where a baby’s behavior is guaranteed.

Month Eight: April: Baby’s first flight

Yoz started pushing up on their knees a little. We had a lovely trip to a friend’s wedding on other side of LA, had two friends babysit.

Since my breast size went up quite a bit due to nursing, I thought I might as well go all out on the cleavage front. The design also made it easier for Yosemite to nurse during breaks in the schedule.

Since my breast size went up quite a bit due to nursing, I thought I might as well go all out on the cleavage front. The design also made it easier for Yosemite to nurse during breaks in the schedule.

During the wedding I breastfed from an evening gown. We got ready to go to Australia. I didn’t want to be tethered to the baby, and always found having a huge freezer stash relaxing in that if I needed to I could always decamp to a hotel or go on an adventure. So, I decided to pack about 50 oz of frozen milk in a big crate for our family trip. Baby did really well on the plane. Visit with family was great.

During the trip, Yosemite learned to crawl and sit up. It was awesome that our far-flung family could witness these milestones. We did not end up using much frozen milk, and I transported it back to the US, but ended up labeling it “do not use”, and one day I’ll trash it. Transporting it 2x frozen probably didn’t do wonders for it.

I breastfed during takeoff and landing, which helped Yosemite remain calm and clear the ears. Yosemite was a gem on the flight! An added bonus we didn’t need to worry about running out of food.

My husband’s grandmother shared with me a pamphlet from 1934 containing prescriptive feedings. The pamphlet was from a formula company that advertises to breastfeed baby on a strict schedule with the attitude that don’t worry if it doesn’t work out because formula is there. I’m glad not to feed my baby on a schedule.

During my trip I did an interview with Ritual Vitamins, founded by a friend of mine, and the manufacturer of the prenatal vitamins I happen to use. There we talked about motherhood and breastfeeding: https://ritual.com/articles/christine-corbett-moran-interview. Here I found that “motherhood” was a part of my identity now, but it seemed to be enhancing it, and connecting me with further opportunities to share my views and participate in projects. Casey pointed out that when companies asked me to do profiles for them, even if I’m a personal fan of the company and especially if so, I should ask for a discount code or something as I’m taking my valuable time to do so. So I do that now!

Image from my interview with Ritual Vitamins.

What I’d do differently:

Milk made it fine to Australia but I really didn’t need to pack that much. What I did on later trips was bring 6 fresh milks in a cooler, which I could freeze on arrival.

Month Nine: May: Second trip away.

Yoz got gastro, possibly from the Australia trip, possibly from misprepared squash, possibly from daycare. One technique I found for making smooshed baby food was to use the sous vide machine, and then blend the food with breast milk, placing it in pouches.

However in this case, the sous vide machine had run out of water and turned off. I made the mistake of feeding the baby the squash and that could have been the source of the gastro. I threw away the squash and decided not to chance food preparation with a baby again, it was a good wakeup call. In fact, after doing more research I do not recommend sous vide for baby food preparation – the food has the potential to spend too long in the “danger zone” of temperature.

Baby started kneeling and trying to pull up. We baby proofed the cabinet. I gave a talk in Orange County which was about a 3 hour drive and and missed a pumping session. I pumped at a Tesla supercharger on the way back, tightly packed with some other folks. Went standup paddling and didn’t pump enough. Ended up forgetting my nursing cover and had to pump in the open in my car. Here I was, slipping up on my pumping vigilance!

Went standup paddling and forgot my nursing cover. Only pumped once in 7 hours the first time I really “failed” at pumping as frequently as I decided was best.

While working full-time as an engineer, I completed an MFA in creative writing. Here is my short story collection, submitted as my creative thesis.

I sent my MFA thesis off, and I especially continued to love visiting Yoz at lunch.

I made a lot of baby food. I interviewed to be the group supervisor at work. I enjoyed being in charge at startups, and had an inkling I might enjoy management. I wanted a change.

Besides, the position would come with my own office, and the thought of not having to cross the street to breast pump for the rest of the year was enticing. Yoz stood for the first time! Yoz had 9 months doctor appointment.

Making baby food for Yosemite. I mix breast milk in most of these, and found the whole process a lot of fun. Making baby food is a lot simpler than a gourmet dinner.

What I would change:

If I had invested in a wireless pump earlier, that would have saved me on my trip to Orange County, and also on my standup paddling adventure.

Month Ten: June: Third trip away, Elvie pump

Pumping in an airport nursing room. I only bought one Elvie pump vs. two so on this trip I did not use it when I needed to double pump. But as soon as I returned I ordered a second Elvie pump and rarely went back to the “bondage bra” style pumping.

The Elvie pump fits in your regular nursing bra and is very discreet under clothes.

The pump fits together so well and is really a delight to put together. Regular pumps have interfaces that often fall apart in the process of fitting through a pumping bra. Elvie needs no separate bra, and quickly is placed in seconds.

The app lets you see how much you’ve pumped and turn the pump off in a second without having to fiddle with your bra. The app could use some work, but it does the job.

I has my first night alone with Yosemite EVER, as Casey was off camping with a friend.

Snce starting back to work full time, I chose to work from home Thursdays while my husband was caring for Yosemite. At first I pumped, but found it took less time and was more enjoyable just to have Casey bring me the baby. Yosemite climbed up the stairs with Casey spotting. Yosemite went swimming for the first time. Yosemite started getting a tooth.

During this period I found out that I got the group supervisor job! I heard back about this back one month after the interview. We went out to dinner at Little Pine. I tried to guess at pay for the boss job and in the process I got sick, with a migraine headache and decided to take medicine for it. I pumped and dumped in a separate room for 24 hours while Casey fed the baby bottles. I found out my salary, which was a decent raise, and I accepted the promotion.

Yoz tried to stand up independently. I am prepared to graduate with my MFA in Maine and ordered some Milk Stork to ship back. I bought a new pump for my trip, the Elvie pump and found it so amazing. I flew again to Maine and decided to make the trip very short; since I was graduating this time I did not need to go for 9 days, as my first trip there, but could make it in 4. I used a regular pump, and ended up having to wear my nursing cover and transfer planes as I pumped due to scheduling issues. I loved the Mamava pods.

My mom stayed with me in Maine in my bedroom and couldn’t wrap her head around the fact I preferred total privacy while pumping, while I found it no big deal to nurse in all conditions of exposure in public. I feel pumping to be exposing and somewhat degrading. I feel beautiful nursing and hideous pumping. The Elvie pump changed all that, but during this trip I only had one side of the Elvie pump and couldn’t double pump. I resolved to buy the second side as soon as I returned.

What I would change:

Pumping and dumping was no big deal. I could have done it more often, instead going through the logistics of sanitary pumping and transporting milk home while away. I had plenty of milk and probably could I have just pumped and dumped on my trips too, but it just depressed me. Pumping and dumping would mean less sanitation and logistics. I say this almost every month, but I should have gotten the Elvie pump sooner and I should have gotten two of the pumps right away.

Month Eleven: July: the promotion

My wiggly baby calms down at nursing time and contentedly snuggles. Always gives me the warm and fuzzies.

I reunited with my baby after my Maine trip. Was glad Yosemite “took me back” and nursed happily on my return.

Moved out of my Caltech office and into my new office in preparation to start my new role as a manager at JPL. I did not need an office on both Caltech and JPL’s campus now that I had a place I could call my own.Did a photoshoot at Griffith park for Milk Stork which ended up in the following article: https://blog.milkstork.com/supermom-circle/moms-on-a-mission-christine-corbett-moran/

The photographers were worried I might balk at pumping in public, I said to the contrary I was worried that they wouldn’t be able to see that I was pumping at all in the photo. They took a photo of me placing the Elvie pump. I had to pump in the car on the way back, which is also way easier with Elvie pump.

I continued to enjoy preparing food for Yoz.

We went on a family trip to Hawaii, and I brought a 30 oz of frozen milk as a stash. Yosemite tried a lime, which was hilarious until it got in the eye. I went scuba diving in Tunnels beach, pumped on beach thanks to the Elvie pump. Went hiking with family, pumped on hike. Went scuba diving on “forbidden island” and did Nitrox certification. Pumped on boat many times, again thanks to the Elvie pump! Went on helicopter ride and pumped discreetly before helicopter ride, again thanks to the Elvie pump! We had the last day in Hawaii and packed up. Decided to bring my milk stash back from Hawaii, which I had brought with me, but when we were delayed I just abandoned about 30 oz of milk rather than unpack/repack it.

My first week after I started in my supervisor role I was in training, my second I was on vacation in Hawaii, so I enjoyed coming back to California so I could settle in to a new rhythm in my new role.

I’m breast pumping in this photo, on my trip to Tunnels beach which was about a mile walk from where my family cared for my baby. Elvie pump helped me go on adventures and stay safe, sanitary, and maintain milk production as well as provide sustenance for my baby.

Also breast pumping in this photo on the dive boat to Ni’ihau island. There’s no way I’d have been able to pump in the rough waves of the boat with a conventional pump.

After the helicopter ride! Was so easy to pump with Elive pump right before.

Elvie pump bottles. Most often I directly transfer them to the Kiinde bags, but sometimes when I’m in a hurry I just cap them and do it when I return.

That perishable box is full of frozen breast milk. I abandoned the box when our flight was delayed 24 hours as I had so much stash at home and the box had started to un-freeze. This is the same setup I transported milk to Australia with.

The Elvie pump gave me such a feeling of freedom I realized I should start back up some of my adventures and that breast pumping had served as a bit of a leash for my dreams. Elvie freed me from that and I organized finishing my Master Scuba Diver license. For that I needed Open Water, Advanced Open Water, and Rescue certifications (I had these), as well as 50 dives (I had 47) and 5 PADI specialty courses (I had 1/5). I was almost there, and Casey was excited to join me. We contacted a local diving shop and arranged to do two more specialities together.

I had so much fun scuba diving, particularly my whole day away boat diving. I realized I had been filtering myself out of a lot of experiences, simply due to the fact it would be unpleasant if not impossible to pump during and now that I had the Elvie pump a lot of that consideration went away.

What I would change:

I probably didn’t need to mail back milk from Maine and could have maybe arranged to donate my milk? I lost some Elvie pump parts, an extra set, in Hawaii on my dive trip and would have bought some earlier. I bought a fridge to keep under my desk, but it was too small, and I wish I would have bought the right size. It extends the pumping process to have to squeeze the parts in to a small fridge, or wash the parts, and I could have had an extra set but I lost it.

Month Twelve: August

I returned my rental Medela Symphony hospital grade pump. Yosemite, since Australia, had been nursing a lot through the night. I did not want to sleep train as it will reduce my bonding chances with Yoz, but starting to think about sleep nudging to wake up less at night. My goal is to have Yosemite drink a bit more during the day, and starting to think about switching to a faster flow nipple and requesting the daycare staff offer Yosemite a bottle more often.

Nursing in our office. During August we gradually moved things out of the office so that Yosemite could move into their own room turning the office into a nursery.

My new role at work as manager meant a more disrupted schedule, which made pumping more difficult. I blocked out two 30 minutes blocks per day for “email/reading/remote work” in my work calendar and this means mostly people don’t schedule meetings with me which overlap. I got a “do not disturb” sign for my office which helps. Yoz trying to walk, I did witness a few steps but Yosemite the most steps ever while home with dad, about 15, another milestone I missed due to travel or work. My husband was delighted to be there for Yoz.

I had a work trip scheduled to Baltimore and convinced my husband to tag along to care for the baby. Not only did not having to pump so much sound appealing, we could also introduce the baby to several family members on the East coast. I went for an astrophysics meeting, and I end up breastfeeding almost entirely instead of pumping with Casey deftly delivering the baby to me in the hotel meeting rooms.

Casey still had some paternity leave left and he joined as the caregiver for Yosemite during my meeting. This made the trip a family fun event, allowed me to simplify logistics in terms of pumping, and I often nursed my baby in a session. It also allowed us to introduce Yosemite to some far flung family.

Back at work, I was glad to have such a discreet pump. Although I pump in private at work, now that I have my own office I pump in it instead of a designated lactation room. I am always paranoid about people walking in despite my “do not disturb sign” on my office, and it’s nice to know that for the most part they’d notice nothing. However a few of my shirts you can see the Elvie pump through, for example this white one you can see the Elvie’s LED lights. I wish there was an option to disable the lights.

I started work on my breastfeeding post and realized I hadn’t updated my diary in a long time which was a big bottleneck to the post. I updated my diary. Luckily I take a lot of photos and I was able to organize one comment per day.

Made some waffles cooking with breast milk. Yoz started Daycare in a new room, graduating to the next class. Casey finished up his last paternity days with a trip to the science center and the zoo, as well as hanging out with Yoz a bit each day at the daycare to get Yoz used to the next yard.

We decided to go camping to celebrate Yoz’s one year birthday and also started to slowly move things around in the house so that Yoz can have their own room. We drove many hours to go camping, set everything up but decided to evacuate as we saw smoke in the distance. Yoz started their birthday in the Australian time zone, so we spoke with the Australian side of the family and started to open presents. On Yoz’s birthday we went out to dinner, and Yoz had a full restaurant meal.

A waffle made with breastmilk

Camping packing was made less stressful by my breastfeeding lifestyle. I had no worries that I’d run out of sustenance or clean water for Yosemite, since I was still nursing. I also got to nurse in some lovely environments.

I really looked forward to celebrating my 1 year of breastfeeding. That was my goal and at this juncture I became confident I’d meet it, although I kept getting paranoid something would happen as for some reason I fixated on the milestone. I didn’t feel like the baby was at all close to weaned, or that I planned to force the issue. I decided to just take it as it goes following the recommendation that as long as mutually beneficial and desired we can continue nursing. I was surprised that there didn’t seem to be much change in our breastfeeding relationship leading up to the one year mark. One year was nothing special, and while it’s a recommended milestone for breastfeeding it would be an arbitrary cutoff of it, in my and my baby’s case.

Yosemite is a toddler now and has learned to walk. Here Yosemite is with a block they got for their birthday! Nursing lately occasionally involves Yoz bringing a favorite toy to hold.

What I would change:

Not much! What a great year! I bought another fridge for my office, but this time it was too large, and I have yet to transport it to my office. So I do end up spending a few minutes extra on parts. Elvie said they would send me some replacement parts, but I’ve yet to receive them. Also I’m finally deciding to move from slow flow bottle nipples to medium flow for Yoz, in the hopes that Yoz drinks more during the day and a bit less at night and also that Yoz has a more enjoyable and hydrating experience. Yosemite’s transitions are over, so it’s time to nudge even further for a bit of “night-weaning”. I’m hoping to wake up just once per night vs. 2–3 times as I do at present.

GEAR/Help

Apps

• BabyConnect for tracking breastfeeding. This was key in the first days to alleviate any concerns about feeding.

Pumps

• You can get a free pump thanks to Obamacare regulations. I got the Lasinoh Pump. Aeroflow is a great site to help. I was able to input my insurance information and address and then got a pump in the mail before I gave birth; I didn’t need to enter any payment information. My Lasinoh pump was a great starter pump and backup pump for me. Start getting to know your first pump right away, and your first it might be your only pump depending on your budget and how frequently you pump.
• Medela Symphony: My work has a series of rooms with hospital grade pumps of this make. That means the woman provides the tubing and the pump sits there. It is very quick to setup.
• During my first trip to Maine I rented a Medela Symphony pump identical to the one I have access to at work. It was so much nicer than my other pump at home, inters of quiet and quick to setup, that I kept renting it after.
• Elvie Pump! Elvie pump is simply amazing. It’s portable, rechargeable, wireless, fits in a regular nursing bra under clothes, easy to use, and silent enough to use if there is any ambient noise (it does make a sound that you can hear if in a secluded area or private meeting). It doesn’t require specialized bags meaning I am never at risk of being unable to use it. I also like that it comes in two separate parts, one for each breast, as having two provides good redundancy if one breaks on a trip. I used to always travel with two pumps on a trip; now I just bring the Elvie pump.

Milk transport and storage

• Milk Stork is a milk overnighting service. They ship a box to your hotel on a trip, and when you are ready to send milk back you use the fedex app to schedule as pickup, then push a button on the box, it turns into a cooler with fridge temperatures for 72 hours, and load up your milk. SO easy but a bit pricy.
• Kiinde System. The Kiinde system is great. With the Symphony or almost any other pump you direct pump into the bags and then warm the bags, put them in a holder with a nipple, and it’s a baby’s bottle. They don’t leak under any circumstance and freeze well. It means bottles are essentially pre-prepared with minimal washing for caregivers. When I put in the freezer or deep freezer I organize bigger gallon ziplocks containing about 10 bottles of 3 oz each of the Kiinde bags. The Elvie pump doesn’t direct pump into the bags, but the cap of the Elvie bottle works perfectly as a spout and I can either quickly pour into a bag right away, or cap the Elvie bottle and have Casey do it at home.

Sanitizing Parts at home and on the go

• Boon grass: Boon grass is great for drying parts at home
• Travel kit: I travel with Medela sanitizing wipes if I can’t wash parts on the go. I also travel with dishwasher soap, and Medela sanitizing microwave bags to wash/steam sanitize and ask the hotel for a fridge, microwave, and freezer access to facilitate this. I bring the Pumpin’ Pals mesh bag and dry parts hanging on the bag in the closet, so that they have minimum contact with the hotel.
• I got a Philips Avent electric steam sterilizer from my baby registry and it did the job

Final Thoughts

Baby privacy

As a family we prefer not to post Yoz’s face or gender to the internet.

Epilogue

We’re closing in on 13 months of breastfeeding!